10 “Short-Term” Resolutions for 2012
Some people with too much time on their hands are claiming, according to the ancient Mayan calendar, that the world will end on December 21, 2012. It appears that the exact time of day is somewhat in dispute (so much for synchronizing our watches). This news kind of puts a smudge on my “Things to Do in 2013” checklist.
But my overwhelming sense of optimism tells me that there’s a bright side to this whole issue. So I’ve assembled a short list of short-term New Year’s resolutions for 2012 that will help us all cope with the impending doom. Pay it heed and you might be able to reduce your stress levels. And save a few bucks in the process.
These aren’t in any particular order of importance (except maybe number 10):
1. Let your subscription to People magazine expire.
You no longer need to worry about Brad and Angelina, who’s wearing what at the Oscars, who will be the sexiest man of 2012 or the next celeb contestants on Dancing with the Stars.
2. Go ahead, eat that second dessert.
Gain a few pounds. Who cares? And while you’re at it, cancel your gym membership.
3. Avoid “Early Bird” registration for next year’s company convention.
You’re just wasting your money. Don’t let them pressure you with the “big savings” pitch. Remember, you won’t be going.
4. Don’t return those two library books.
You can easily avoid that busybody librarian at your local branch for a few months.
5. Fire your tax accountant.
He’s going to cost you just so you can save some dough on your taxes. What for? For the first time in decades you won’t be paying any taxes.
6. Don’t vote in November.
Your vote will mean even less this election.
7. Leave your Christmas lights up after New Year’s.
Be the neighborhood renegade. Laugh in the face of your Homeowners’ Association.
8. Stop stressing over your next parole hearing.
It’s a lot of worrying for nothing.
9. Party like there’s no tomorrow!
Uh… because there isn’t going to be a tomorrow. You can fund your partying by cashing out your IRA and 401k accounts. And while you’re at it, why not do the same with your life insurance?
10. OR YOU COULD DO THIS:
Don’t let some primitive pre-Columbian civilization shape your destiny. Just because some old calendar ends doesn’t mean we all perish. We’re rational human beings after all (at least most of us). Don’t let a little Mayan negativity get you down.
Do you remember the story of Chicken Little from your childhood? It seems that after she gets hit on the head by a falling acorn, Chicken Little runs around frantically declaring that “the sky is falling, the sky is falling!” The story follows her and her pals Henny Penny, Cocky Locky, Ducky Lucky, Turkey Lurkey and Goosey Loosey on a very frenzied—and fateful—journey.
Let’s not be like Chicken Little, Henny Penny, Cocky Locky, Ducky Lucky, Turkey Lurkey or Goosey Loosey. The sky isn’t falling. Instead, let’s make 2012 a banner year… and 2013 even better! Take on the day. Besides if the end is near, there’s not much we can do to change it.
Be talkin’ to ya this time next year.